Hiring Hi Jinx
No shows, false references, failed drug screens and resumes that can be most charitably described as creative fiction are common recruiting misadventures. Here are two more true stories to add to the list of hiring hi jinx.
Tongue in Cheek
HR Professional Marc and his boss invested valuable time interviewing qualified candidates for a front office executive assistant’s position that required—among other skills—fielding phone calls. After narrowing the prospects down to four choices, Marc put in more time performing the necessary drug-screens, background and reference checks. Then he spent additional time conducting four final interviews before he offered the job to the person who seemed perfectly suited. He told her to report to work Monday morning 8AM, bright and early.
The new employee showed up on time, holding a compress to her mouth, unable to speak. It turned out she had decided over the weekend to have her tongue pierced. With the shiny metal stud inserted in her now swelling tongue she attempted to answer incoming customer calls: “Tank eww for ca-wing, oww may I elp eww. Ow.” Needless to say she lasted all of thirty minutes before Marc had to send her home. Then there he was on the phone, filling in for her while desperately calling the other three candidates to offer one of them the job.
Check that Tongue
Reaching the end of an extensive job interview for a small engineering firm, the Human Resources person asked the young Engineer fresh out of college, “And what starting salary were you looking for?”
The bright-eyed Engineer candidate confidently replied, “I’d like $175,000 or more a year,depending on the benefits package.”
The interviewer nodded and said, “Well, what would you say to a complete relocation package, plus six weeks vacation, sixteen paid holidays, full medical and dental coverage, a company matching retirement fund for 50% of your salary, and a company car leased every two years-say, a red Corvette?”
The Engineer sat up straight and said, “Wow! Are you kidding?”
And the interviewer replied, “Yeah, but you started it.”
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